To meet a man that is so crazy about me that he will chase me and want me and make it work. My mum had that. Back in the day a lot of women had that.
These days I case him.
Maybe he is just not that into me. Replacing the excitement of a first love with a pandemic filled with death and devastation. Or simply just ignoring him for another man when we could meet in person. I never even met to say goodbye in person. I was horrible to him back then. Disappeared in a flash.
Back in the day I wasn't interested. But I am so interested now. Am I just being stupid. Only wanting men it can't work with.
To be truly honest if you were to say you want to marry me, I would give up my career and move to India and see how it goes. Maybe I will work. Maybe I won't. But part of me will be happy not to. Or to help you out.
I had you on a pedestastal. No man works like that.
So goodbye to you my lover in me head. It was amazing while it lasted in my head.
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