That pang of anxiety

Dealing with his odd hours. He's most likely asleep. A hard working man.

But i miss not hanging out as a normal couple would. Of having a routine and seeing my man regularly. His social awkwardness that i adore but can leave me wanting more. Do i trust my instincts that something could be wrong.

Or do i just try harder. Relationships are difficult things that need trust and care and understanding and kindness. He's a lovely guy and its about being patient and making it work.

Will he call me back tonight. Yes of course. When he wakes up.

The price of success. 

A Perfect Boyfriend but...

So to have the man that all girls dream of. yes Mc Dreamy. The ER doc who turns up in scrubs after a shift in ER and will move his world for you.

Yet little comments make me defensive. I love him to bits but its a question of self respect.

The other day he joked with his friends that i was a 9-5. I hate that. My career is so much more. The other day he said he wants his kids to be doctors. I felt like i didn't matter.

I want kids to grow up respecting both me and him. Having a choice but also seeing that my life is also amazing.  That its respected. That its important.

And perhaps this is where that sudden bout of ambition comes from. Striving to be the best i can be.