feeling a lill lost

I feel like i have explored a lot of not so trodden paths. These days i feel a little lost. Yet also like i have achieved so much. That nothing is really worth changing in my life and if it wasn't for all that went on before, my life would not be as amazing as it is now.

To have a man with such a great heart that calls me all the time. Sure he is busy saving lives and working hard. But i am that sanctuary he craves at the start and end of each of his days.   And i, i love my life and i love the way he treats me.

He spoils me rotten and is that ideal boyfriend. And i know i can be that girl by his side that has it all together that drives him wild.

Its time and experience and confidence that allows such strong working relationships.

So thankyou for all the risks you took and for all that heart ache that never worked.

Everything is falling into place now because of all that did not in the past. 

What if you can afford it all

I grew up in a world of moderation and luxury. So what does that mean you ask?

I grew up to affluent parents who had migrated to a new country looking for new beginnings. They brought just enough wealth to be comfortable but the key was family values and faith in education and being a good person. Yes they took lowly jobs and they sought out the best that life could be with the cards that were drawn for them. They chose family and kids over building their own careers.

And i grew up in a middle class family in a bad neighbourhood with parents that had their dreams shattered for the sake of their kids.

And i grew up confident and classy and beautiful. Educated in the west in private girl schools, attending the best universities in the world, entering the workforce on top of my game and knowing only success.

With the cards i was dealt there really was no need to save. I worked hard, i studied hard and just as my parents said hard work pays off, i graduated into a world where i could afford multiple properties, overseas holidays, designer handbags, tiffany's and the car that i want. The savings piled up regardless and when i wanted to take a year off to do my MBA, well it required no change in lifestyle.

I guess i must just be lucky. 

thinking of my younger self

I read on about the past and question if i want to be there. The youth i miss and the time i miss. Yet time has brought confidence and a desire to be myself.

I know how to have a relationship these days and to compromise and to prioritise. I know how to have an amazing relationship with a man who is serious and calls me every night. I have the confidence to put work second and see that jet setting isn't full filling.

I have the education to be who i want to be and go where i want.

Sometimes life is beautiful. I miss my man right now but i know he is thinking of me and in time we will be together.

New Horizons

Life sometimes works out beautifully and you realise everything happens for a reason. On reconnecting with my roots and finding love elsewhere.

To that ambitious man with a heart of gold and down to earth manner and just a touch of arrogance that drives me crazy. To falling asleep in his arms knowing the future is in his arms.

Life sometimes feels all over the place. The state of the economy, growing older, life in general. Smooth sailing career wise for so long. Now its smooth sailing relationship wise.

It's where you focus really. Here's to really loving life again.