Thats right. I've met someone i really like. Time i spend with him is amazing. His hugs and kisses and cuddles are amazing. Our conversations are great but sometimes silence but not always the awkward type.
But he is leaving for a year in a few months.
He also does not call me every night. Its just some past partners have done so. He has a busy life.
But one of the most peaceful i have known.
I miss that i am with him one night and do not hear from him the other.
While i like him a lot. A real lot. I can't help remember back to days when boys would call each day and there would be super highs and super lows. But i also just miss having that call each day. Is that my test of a relationship?
But then he will be gone to another country for a year in another month? He can't give me that commitment.
Lets see but i was so grateful to be with a man after 2 years but now i feel even more anxious!
Thats life. Craving is suffering right. Maybe he is not calling because he has discovered a true way forward and i can just learn from him on being there but not attaching.
But i do miss the passion that came from S & M. Just those too actually. The others I never felt real passion with. More than anything i miss S. Thats first love is something you can never forget. Long gone but maybe we will meet again.
But then last night as this new guy held me, i felt our souls connected. That we had slept side by slde many lifetimes ago. It could not be the first time.
But who really knows right.
Either way a little phone call to say hello would have been nice from him.
But he is leaving for a year in a few months.
He also does not call me every night. Its just some past partners have done so. He has a busy life.
But one of the most peaceful i have known.
I miss that i am with him one night and do not hear from him the other.
While i like him a lot. A real lot. I can't help remember back to days when boys would call each day and there would be super highs and super lows. But i also just miss having that call each day. Is that my test of a relationship?
But then he will be gone to another country for a year in another month? He can't give me that commitment.
Lets see but i was so grateful to be with a man after 2 years but now i feel even more anxious!
Thats life. Craving is suffering right. Maybe he is not calling because he has discovered a true way forward and i can just learn from him on being there but not attaching.
But i do miss the passion that came from S & M. Just those too actually. The others I never felt real passion with. More than anything i miss S. Thats first love is something you can never forget. Long gone but maybe we will meet again.
But then last night as this new guy held me, i felt our souls connected. That we had slept side by slde many lifetimes ago. It could not be the first time.
But who really knows right.
Either way a little phone call to say hello would have been nice from him.
