Sometime i think i challenge myself too much. I read those silly quotes on courage and read inspirational biographies about reaching beyond the stars and commit to things where i have to step out of my comfort zones. Then moments before i always freak out, wondering if it will all fail in a miserable heap. I felt like this moments before i jumped out of a plane, at 2AM while hiking up the himalayas at 4000 feet when i could barely breath, that time i agreed to build an ammonia plant for a nickel mine because i wasn't feeling sufficiently challenged with what i was doing and that other time when i agreed to take the lead for a 20 million dollar pitch. I could go on forever.
The thing is everything has always worked out. And even when they hadn't i learnt a massive lesson and was given nothing but kudos as what i did achieve was still beyond sitting around doing nothing.
So deep down i know i won't fail. I know that as soon as i start speaking in front of those 70 people at the conference that i'll be in my element and the words will just flow out. I know that i've had sufficient experience to be the expert i claim to be. That my self doubt and imposter syndrome is just that and nothing real. I know i've prepared and i know it just a little bit more to go.
I know deep down that once i've done it i will feel exhilirated, that i've achieved another milestone, that its another notch on my belt. Even more importantly i will say to myself to do this again another time - not only to speak at another conference but to always keep stepping out of that comfort zone.
Thats why i signed up i guess.
It will work out.
You'll find out next week. Wish me luck.
