Really sad about our lion

 Its slow going

We made a great team together

 Between you and me, everything was perfect until it wasnt

I miss the other you

 The one i spoke to everyday.

It was meant to be our lion

 But it's mine now. You said we would do him together. You lied.

Those moments

 When you put your arms around and brought me close and your eyes were darting around, i new you were being protective of me. But in your arms i felt so safe.

Our lion

 Im doing it without you

You disappointed me

 I thought it was different with us

That one day that changed my world

 What actually happened? How did i end up there?

Why won't you leave my head

 I can't get you out. All i want is to have you in my bed again.

I can't get you out of my head

 The nights we spent together.  What we did during the night. Rubbing your back and you loving it. The way you touched me. The songs.  Waking up in your arms. Hugging. Then looking deep into your eyes while caressing your face. Cooking you breakfast. That last goodbye. 

Romantic fatalism

 The longing for destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life. All too often forced to share a bed with those that cannot fathom our soul.  Can we not be excused ( contrary to rules of of our enlightened age) that one day we are fated to run into the man or women of our dreams? Can we not be allowed a certain superstitious faith that we will ultimately locate a creature who can appease our painful yearnings? Though our prayers may never be answered , though they may be no end to relationships marked by mutual incomprohension, if the heavens took pity on us, then can we really be expected to attribute our encounter with our prince or princess to a mere coincidince?Or can we not for once  escape logic and read it nothing other than a romantic destiny?

Not my words but i connect with this so much right now....

Maybe i trust people too much

 Advice from someone i really liked in combination with dating the wrong men.

So sad about what happened with us

 It could of being amazing. I still remember rubbing your back.

Another life advice from my former self

 What i wrote a while back

Travelling is liberating. Their is a realisation when travelling that opportunities are endless. Boundaries are breakable, and time is infinite. Travellibg, just taking the first step changes your life forever.You leave your comfort zone and venture into the unknown worldthat will expand your mind, change your perceptions and you will never be the same again.

what went wrong

 Who knows. but i feel like crying and everything is a mess

Cant stop thinking about you

 That coffee, that long drive where we held hands and had the picnic, the food i made for you which i spent so much time on and the magical nights we had. I'm sad it's over.

Messages from a younger me

 Some things i wrote maybe 15 years ago. Usually wisdom comes with age but it seems who i used to be is more helpful. This advice is what is keeping me going.

Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore, dream, Discover.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Great spirits have encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.

You create your opportunities by asking for them.

Opportunity is missed by most people as it's dressed in overalls and looks like work.

And above all , watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe the magic will never find it.

When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.

Sometimes it is the smallest decisions that change your life forever.

Integrity is the essense of everything successful.

Difficulties are stepping stones to success.

Successful people are simply people who learn to solve their problems. They are not people without problems.

The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is.

Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognised a problem and turned it into an opportunity.

You can be discouraged by failure...or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes, make all you can because thats where you will find success on the far side.

Initiative is doing the right thing without being told.

The discipline you learn and character you build from setting and achieving a goal can be more valuable than the achievement of the goal itself.

Im am not sure what went wrong

 I feel like i've done everything right my whole life. I got warned about the guy i was dating. Im not sure what is going. Dating a Police officer was the worst decision ever. Should have listened to my friends.

Only a few days ago i was so happy

We went on picnics, he held my hand during a long drive, i made all the food that he loved to eat. He was perfect. We did jigsaw puzzles and made him coffee and for some reason he loved coke zero so i made sure it was always in my fridge.And then he disappeared on me. 

Do i just listen to my mum

 She is telling me to take a break. To travel with her to anywhere in the world. Italy, Sri lanka, Canada anywhere. We can stay with family or any five star hotel of our liking. No restrictions. Anything that will help. I'm still not sure why i am so unhappy and sad. And why i don't just say yes and go somewhere. i know life has gifted me with too much. I should be happy. I'm just grateful to have a choice but not acting.

Some things just happen

 Somewhere along the way things got derailed badly

Life as you get older

 Shit happens. You wake up early because you cant sleep and do a 6km run. A bit of a high but right now i just feel really let down with a man i trusted. Nothing to be surprised about but i thought he was different. No man is ever going to treat you right.

The new normal

 So life starts spiralling sometimes. Some good things happen but thats fine. But you finally meet a man you can hold hands with and look in the eyes but he disappears on you when you need support for the first time in your life. i trusted him and let him in. We had a magic time of roadtrips, picnics, jigsaw puzzles and falling asleep, hugging and looking into his eyes. I never thought he would disapear.  I think he was the nicest guy i have ever met and was crazy about him. I just wish he would call. But i guess its normal for people to let you down. It seems normal these days.