Big Items to Purchase

And today i bought a brand new car. It was one of the most simplest things i have ever done really, although a lot of money will be spent over the next few years.

This is a sign of growing up, that i've sort of made, that life is easy. I'm 25 and its my car and i did it myself. Its scary in a way too that i'm getting older, life gets easier and harder at the same time.

Its funny, having it all doesnt make me so happy, i'm not as excited, i didn't even think about it that much really. Its like life goes on.

Maybe i am just burnt out, i haven't had a break since february and life has been full on. Maybe i just need a rest.

I can't even find a song i like

So i bought a new car --> why am i not happy?

On Falling in Love with a married man

At the end of the day, deep down i realise it will never work. If i had of known at the start that he was married i never would have gone into it. Yet he didn't tell me and i fell head over heels. Sometimes i convince myself i haven't, but i think the truth is i have and sometimes i let my busy life cloud this fact and deceive myself.

Its times like these when i realise why this is not a good idea and i should just let it go. That it will get harder and harder as time goes on. I feel down right now, right at this moment --> yet i have no way of contacting him. I can come online and get more and more depressed, thats about it.

I said to myself, when this gets painful i stop. I think this is the time. Its tempting, its hard, i'm not even sure how to stop, but right now, at this moment i recognise that it is making me down and unhappy and unsure and sad.

Now to act out my words

Big city life!

So there is a difference between Melbourne and Brisbane, or is it all in my mind, or the fact that this is where i grew up....

The relaxed yet still moderately busy, challenging in a good way, interesting and adventurous lifestyle is gone. After 3.5 months i am back in the Melbourne 'mush' and life sure has sped up and i feel like i am living 30 hours in everyday. And coming back to this, I'm finding it difficult to fit my life in as it used to be, like those gym sessions i should be going to.

So I'm contemplating MBA schools and investing in an apartment or buying my own place, rethinking where i want to go with my career and wondering what in the world i will do about my love life. Its not like i am havng fun as well and its all work work work, no not at all......

Monday night i was out on the town, tuesday i lazed around taking advantage of the public holiday, thursday night i went out for dinner and some bottles of red. Friday was a quiet one, mainly because there is something wrong with my phone, saturday morning was running around an info session at the melbourne business school and then a hens night which got too queit so went out hitting some bars.

And then we get to today, random wander around the city marvelling at its beauty and how lucky i am to be able to call it home. Watching a band at the greek festival in fed square before heading over to see a some beautiful pictures at the Earth from above Photography exhibition on the Yarra riverside to the side of Federation square.

I managed to make some ammends with an old highschool friend who i might catch up with later this week and have plans to meet up for dinner with another really good friend for wednesday night. Despite being out almost every night i still haven't seen everyone thats in some way an important part of my life. I guess i am licky in some ways like that too......to have so many friends --> but sometimes i have to wonder how genuine they are.

Also managed to have a great chat with another friend from canada who i met in Brisbane who has been in the middle of nowhere doing site work for the last three weeks. Had a good chat about being the only female on site and the implications that has on your sex life.

Who would think in the middle of all this that i actually work full time heh.maybe what this blog entry is relaly telling me is to slow down, relax, and not do so much!