Starting a new job is really difficult.
I do it so often rotating around the company you would think i would get used to it. But you go in meeting new people and no one knows who you are. And you start all over again, you suddently go from being great at what you do to knowing almost nothing.
You have no track record and you need to build up a reputation once again. Sometimes this period is depressing because in your mind you are like i had something great and i wanted more from life so i left what was great in search of something greater.
Sometimes that something greater brings pain and sadness. All the changes, the unfamiliarity, the instability. I'm a successful strong beautiful fit intelligent adventurous women with the whole world in front of me, and yet all i really want is a man to give me a hug and hold me in his arms and make me feel special. I crave it, crave it soo bad it hurts.
So is all this worth it. I'm tired, tired of reaching for so much. Am i burning myself? Is this what this feeling is? Its not like i work long hours and weekends are saved just for adventures and partying. So how could i be burning out?
I guess for now i will go along with it. Cos really my life is geat, even amazing. I just don't know why i feel so down sometimes.
Thats all
And i miss him
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