At the end of the day, deep down i realise it will never work. If i had of known at the start that he was married i never would have gone into it. Yet he didn't tell me and i fell head over heels. Sometimes i convince myself i haven't, but i think the truth is i have and sometimes i let my busy life cloud this fact and deceive myself.
Its times like these when i realise why this is not a good idea and i should just let it go. That it will get harder and harder as time goes on. I feel down right now, right at this moment --> yet i have no way of contacting him. I can come online and get more and more depressed, thats about it.
I said to myself, when this gets painful i stop. I think this is the time. Its tempting, its hard, i'm not even sure how to stop, but right now, at this moment i recognise that it is making me down and unhappy and unsure and sad.
Now to act out my words
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