wondering

Dear N,

We met some time ago and it went so well. You were calling, we were going out, you treated me like a princess, opened doors and we had conversations to transend time, getting to know each other just a little at a time.

But recently things have been different. I found out something last week. I found out you were back on that site actively looking for another.

And myself, i had my indescretion last weekend which made me realise how much i want you and need you. All i kept thinking was that he wasn't you. Its funny how a mistake with another man makes me appreciate you more.

We haven't had that exclusive talk. We are just dating. Neither of us doing anything wrong,

But N, it hurts. It hurts that you can hold me in your arms and kiss me so gently and still think of others.

I think its too long on the sidelines right now. I'm no longer wanting to play this game. Tomorrow i want some honesty. I want to know how you feel. I want to know if its time to say goodbye or if its time to say hello.

N, i'm scared.

N, I hope i mean the world to you.