Temptations

It's been a while but i feel like fooling around. These days when i am with him it's great but when i'm not there are so many insecurities that come to play and its tempting to seek in the comfort of many a man that gives me attention and finds me attractive.

 I miss the excitement of being in love. But then this is stable. He is responsible, he keeps his word. But its not that exciting toe curling moments. We havent even said those three magic words yet.

Today i gave you an xmas present. You gave me zilch. Your going away in three days time. This was the last bit of time you had to spare for me.

We had fun but i felt empty the moment you left. Sad that i wasn't so important to you.

I've got to stop putting you first when you dont reciprocate.

Its nice to have a man in my life but sometimes i feel like i'm settling because i'm getting old and unlikely to meet another. That my time is running out and i should cut my losses and settle for mr here now and he seems alright.

I've given up on finding my mr big. There won't be flowers or gallant gentlemanliness or chivalry. He will treat me as an equal and be honest, a tad awkward and not so polished.

I'm not perfect either.

Sometimes in life settling for almost good enough isn't such a bad thing.