And once upon a time that would have been a lovely thought. but not these days.
He's been telling me for months he's not interested. Last conversation I asked how he could hug me so and he said not to think it too much. And I did. He was always honest. I accidentally fell for a guy that was never available.
He got me through lockdown and I will ever be grateful. I want to be always friends. The guy that is a shoulder to cry on when I need.
But he doesn't want to be the guy I want him to be. So I have to move on.
It's the hardest thing but I know I need to. I can't keep doing this. With a guy that just wants me around sometimes with no future talk. I am getting closer to his mum and dad and forming a relationship. I want it to be real and I want it to be something he wants as well.
So right now, at this point in time, I'm not sure if we will work out. but as we grow older, it doesn't matter either. Because I am not as excited by him.
I don't want hime to come to the play or the bday with me. Even the movie. Not unless he wants to be with me. So maybe its better to slowly ween off each other.
I have fallen for guys before and fallen out too. He is no different even though I thought once again he was.
But we have a lifetime of friendship ahead.
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