Is this it?

So i am with him. Yet sometimes i wonder if we have anything in common at all. He wants me to come over to his place. We are going to go to some restaurant in the suburbs. That boring life that scares me.

In my heart of hearts i am trying to find a legitimate excuse to not turn up but i have to go. Is this the life i want to live?

Today we both had days off. For a change. On a rare occasion. He went home to study. I visited my parents. He wants me to come over and we will do what he wants to do.

Can i do this? Do i need that passion in life?

The other night i lost my keys and i couldn't depend on him.

My mum has been in hospital and yes he tried to see her once after a friends party but he hasn't even bothered since.

He doesn't want me to come to lanka with him. I attend my friends wedding alone.

A mediocre life. Is this what i want?

Who am i kidding. We are not in love. I sometimes look at him and don't know what to say. That comfort is not between us. Sometimes it feels amazing in the night. But in all reality, i'm not sure. He doesn't really listen to what i want. Its always what he wants.

There was glamour associated with being with him. Now not so much. Is my own life alone better than whats on offer. Maybe i need that spark.