Because it changes who you are. Every time I leave home and return, its like i don't belong anymore. I've discovered and learnt new things and become someone else. The people around me are somewhat the same except they have forged new friendships and changed in many ways to fill the gap left by my void. And you feel this the most with those who are closest to you. People learn to live without you. You are no longer as close as you used to be.
So a new chapter must start and i wonder who these new friends of mine will be. I can't think of anyone off the top of my head but maybe i just need to enrol in a few things and forge some closer friendships with people i click with in the moment. Maybe work will bring more in this way.
I feel this will be healthy for me and my relationship. To have the time and space to build up a life i love again. Spend moments with my parents. To appreciate family.
At the moment i resent him for not always being around. But thats because i drop my world for him and make him my everything. Its not healthy for me. Its not healthy for him. A bit of space and doing our own things will get us to appreciate what we really do have. Which is amazing.
Like right now. I love that i am here alone. This trip would not of worked with us together. Too much pressure. And its getting us closer together. So perhaps what we need is just a little bit of space to have our own lives while being completely madly in love with each other and spending time together.
Maybe its about enlisting in classes and learning new things and enjoying the world. Maybe i should learn to dance or something like that. Get those creative juices flowing.
So a new chapter must start and i wonder who these new friends of mine will be. I can't think of anyone off the top of my head but maybe i just need to enrol in a few things and forge some closer friendships with people i click with in the moment. Maybe work will bring more in this way.
I feel this will be healthy for me and my relationship. To have the time and space to build up a life i love again. Spend moments with my parents. To appreciate family.
At the moment i resent him for not always being around. But thats because i drop my world for him and make him my everything. Its not healthy for me. Its not healthy for him. A bit of space and doing our own things will get us to appreciate what we really do have. Which is amazing.
Like right now. I love that i am here alone. This trip would not of worked with us together. Too much pressure. And its getting us closer together. So perhaps what we need is just a little bit of space to have our own lives while being completely madly in love with each other and spending time together.
Maybe its about enlisting in classes and learning new things and enjoying the world. Maybe i should learn to dance or something like that. Get those creative juices flowing.
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