Feeling trapped

This is the worse i have ever felt. I've been travelling for 24 hours, trying to do too much. Love life, friendships, work pressures, even a holiday seems like pressure. Its that feeling of being trapped and trying to figure out how to stop myself from having a nervous breakdown.

I'm back in south east asia and this place is reminding me of a bad experience i had a long time ago. I'm anxious.

I keep telling myself its not the same. That in a few days i'll be out of here.

Usually i would go for a walk with some bautiful scenery while listning to some tunes. I would come back feeling refreshed and feeling lucky to be alive. I would sit on my king couch overlooking the ocean and city views afterwards and think about how beautiful life has treated me.

Here there is no bautiful view. There is noice. Humidity and i feel trapped. There is no fresh air. No sterile comfort of space and expansiveness you get from cold minimalism which i love so much.

Writing has always helped. I thought i would try it again. I wish i had someone to call. Someone to lean on. I need to cry and this time i really need someone.

I have nobody.